weather reports

Sometime in 1986, I was sitting at home watching the weather report on TV. The sun was shining on my eyes, making it difficult to see the TV. I used my hand to shade my eyes because I was too lazy to get up and do anything else.

As I was struggling to see the weather report, I heard the meteorologist tell me how cloudy it was.

I was only a few miles from the station and I could see that there were no clouds above her. In fact, I saw no clouds at all. I was used to inaccurate weather forecasts but this seemed extreme. I mean, Yes, predicting things can be problematic. But, come on, they should at least be able to provide the current weather.

I guess I was crankier than usual. Maybe I was crankier in general back then. Either way, I found myself calling the local affiliate of the CBC who’d failed to cast the current weather.

I asked to leave a message with <whatever her name was>.

Operator: “Certainly. What is the message?”
Me: “Look out your window.”

Since that struck the operator as somewhat cryptic, I was asked what I meant. I explained that they were reporting cloudy skies when the skies were unbrokenly azure.

I wasn’t expecting this to have any effect but I felt better. Sorta like voting for someone when you know that person will never win. I was wrong though.

A few minutes later, the meteorologist was back giving a final weather update for the news show. She said “Partly cloudy except over Steve’s house because it’s always sunny where he is.”

Not really. She actually said “Partly cloudy with some sunny patches.”

Close enough.


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