I got Pam some kind of electronic tablety thing for Christmas. I got it a few weeks ago and set it up with her accounts and apps and whatnot when Pam was out of town.  

At one point, I’d connected the messaging app to Pam’s phone account. A short while later, Pam’s text messages started showing up on the tablet. That seemed kinda creepy. I guess I’m a better stalker than I realized. Especially if I have all of my victims passwords.

When I finished setting it up, I powered off the tablet and carefully wrapped it. Shortly after that, I sent Pam a text message. I noticed that this caused the carefully wrapped package to beep. “Son of a gun”, or something similar, I thought. The tablet wasn’t as off as it could have been.

I considered my options. If I left it as it was, the battery would be drained when Pam unwrapped it. It might also prompt questions like “Steve. Why is this package beeping like a tablet.”

I unwrapped the package, turned the tablet really off, and wrapped the tablet again. This year, my signature style is brown paper and duct tape.

On the off chance that Pam reads my blog, I set this post to publish after I give her the tablet.