you’re kidding

Pam is spending the long weekend with the kids and grandkids and Becky (I know that Morgan is 30. They’re still kids.) down in Evansville. Beth’s cesarean is scheduled for later this month but the baby is already viable. Pam was kidding about how it would be convenient if Beth gave birth while Pam was in town.

Around 9:30 while I was eating my breakfast pizza (the wife’s away) I got a text from Pam saying “blah blah blah was born this morning.”

I was dumbstruck. All that kidding about an early birth being convenient came back to me. I was also thinking:

  • woohoo! another grandkid!
  • I gotta start driving down there.
  • I gotta get a dog sitter.
  • It’s a boy. Hazel will be pissed.
  • I’m on call. I gotta let my teammates know to cover the calls.
  • I’ve got a new boss and I don’t have her contact information to let her know that I’m getting out of Dodge.

It also seemed odd that I didn’t get other notices like:

  • Beth’s going to the hospital.
  • They’re checking her in.
  • We’re sitting around waiting for the birth.

I composed myself and texted back “You’re beeping kidding.”

Pam texted back “<other-last-name> not Squire”


<long, sustained exhaling sound>

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