I screwed this up. I forgot a very important detail in this story and wanted to correct it.
I re-posted the corrected version here but am leaving the original otherwise untouched as a bad example.
We went to a wedding reception a few days ago. It was one of the best that we’ve been to.
The only thing that wasn’t excellent was the best man’s toast. The M.C. announced the best man’s toast and then there was some consternation as the audience tried to find the best man. A man was standing by the bridal party table telling someone “Come on. You can do it.”
We were trying to figure out if the best man had some kind of handicap or had stage fright or what.
The best man stood up.
He didn’t say anything.
Then he said “Billy.”
(He didn’t say Billy. He said the groom’s name. I just want to avoid embarrassing the bride, the groom, and their families while I make fun of this idiot.)
He made a few inarticulate sounds and then pulled out some note cards.
He tried to read these cards but it was a struggle.
He could barely say a word every few seconds.
He was swaying when he first stood up and it got worse as time passed.
He soon stopped trying to read and sat down.
The M.C. then announced the maid of honor’s toast. I’ll call her Cathy.
Cathy stood up and started with “Well. How do you follow that?” and then gave a very nice toast.
Later that evening we were talking with Cathy and her mom. Cathy was also the bride’s sister.
Cathy talked about how the wedding had been 2 years in the planning. I said “think of it as a dry run for your own wedding.
Cathy quickly said “No! I’m never getting married!”
Cathy’s mom quickly added “No. Not to him!”
Apparently, Cathy is currently living with the best man and I’d just put my foot in a steaming pile of family drama.