Some of the many joys of moving to the paradise that is the free state of Florida are getting a new driver’s license and vehicle registration.

appointments

Just about everyone told me that I couldn’t just breeze on in to the DMV and get a driver’s license – you have to schedule an appointment.

I browsed to the DMVs appointment site and got a message that said, more or less, “We’re sorry, but this site is momentarily unavailable. Please try again in a few minutes.”

I did try again every so often, but that site never did work.

Instead of depending on the vagaries of websites, I also tried calling the DMV. There were a handful of numbers for the DMV offices in my county.

The first number rang a dozen or so times and then played a recording that said, more or less, “This is Verizon. You can’t get there from here. Get off the line.”

The other numbers played a message directing me to call the first number.

I gave up trying to get an appointment, gathered the necessary paperwork for my license, and drove over to see if I could get a license anyway.

After waiting in line, I explained that I was moving from out of state and needed a Florida driver’s license. I was given a number and told to wait for the number to be called.

I mentioned that I’d tried to schedule an appointment, but couldn’t make that happen. The young lady said “Oh, we don’t do that anymore.”

So much for the advice of just about everyone and the internet.

social security numbers

When I checked the paperwork that I was going to need, it looked like I only needed the social security number, but not the actual card. Cool! One less thing to worry about.

When I got to the counter at the DMV, one of the first things that I was asked for was my social security card. I said that I didn’t have the card as the website said that I didn’t need it.

“No, it didn’t. You have to bring the card.”

I pondered the likelihood that the clerk knew which site I’d been to and what it said. I then said nothing.

He looked back and also said nothing.

I said nothing some more. If I was going to leave empty handed, he’d have to ask me to leave.

He then started shuffling some papers around, typing on his computer, and telling his coworker that this idiot comes in asking for a license without a social security card.

I considered mentioning that sound travels or maybe saying “Dude! I’m standing right here”, but since he hadn’t yet told me to bugger off, it was starting to look like I was going to get a driver’s license after all.

unpleasant DMV customer number 1

While I was standing there, pretending to not hear the abuse on the other side of the plexiglass, there were some noises of agitation to my right. Apparently, someone had been misinformed about which forms were needed for whatever the heck he wanted. He was beginning to realize he was going to leave empty handed.

I was wondering how agitated this guy was going to get. He did say that he knew that it wasn’t the clerk’s fault, but finished with “gosh darn it!”, (or something) banged the counter with his fist, and walked away.

getting a license anyway

As the excitement died down, I got my picture taken and my license showed up in a few minutes. The whole driver’s license thing only took 90 minutes.

let’s do that again

I didn’t want to test the DMV gods by trying to get my driver’s license and vehicle registration all in one shot, so I went to get the vehicle registration on the following day.

This time, the website and the clerk agreed about what forms were needed and the process was pretty hitch-free. It helped that this time I was working with a very pleasant clerk.

unpleasant DMV customer number 2

Once again, I was standing next to someone who had been misinformed about which forms he needed (something about state licenses versus county licenses). He concluded with “<naughty word> this <other naughty word> and <naughty word> all of you!”

The clerk and I looked at each other, both of us feeling awkward. I said “On behalf of all DMV customers, please let me apologize for that.”

let’s not do that again

After paying far too much for vehicle registration, I was done in about 90 minutes. I’m told that renewals are a lot less expensive than the first one.

I hope so.