(not) cruising 2020

The cast:

Leonard and Penny Hofstadter
Darren and Samantha Stephens
Barney and Betty Rubble
Ross and Rachel Geller

The setup

Back in March, when covid19 was starting to ramp up, a bunch of the cruisers got together in approved socially distanced circumstances. They were in a garage with the main door open and they shouted at each other from opposite ends of the garage, as you did back in those uncertain times.

Amongst other things, they discussed what they’d do to replace their annual cruise. They eventually settled on driving someplace south within the states. Over the next few weeks, they picked a place in Hilton Head, South Carolina.

A couple of months before leaving for the south, they decided to fly instead of drive.

Savanna – day 1

Three of the couples, the Hofstadters, Rubbles, and Gellers, left a couple of days early to stay in Savannah, Georgia.

For dinner on the first night, they found a rooftop bar/restaurant. This provided them with atmosphere and a sh!t ton of rain. The umbrellas gave some protection for a little while but they soon had to move under some awnings when the umbrellas failed.

They couldn’t decide on main courses, so instead of getting entrees of stuff that they’d never heard of, they shared several piles of stuff that they’d never heard of.

Savannah – day 2

They spent the day exploring Savannah on foot.

taco salad. with extra!
Lunch was at a place called Jalapeno’s Mexican Restaurant. The gang enjoyed their meals until Leonard found a piece of metal in his mouth. It was about a quarter inch square and an eighth inch deep. Leonard got a bit woozy when Rachel said that it looked like a crown from someone’s molar. This was followed with speculation that it was some kind of jewelry. This should have made Leonard feel better but it didn’t.
Leonard showed this to the server when he next came by. The server took the offending metal to the kitchen to demand explanation.
When he returned, he said that the metal was a clip from the tube of meat that they used for the meat in the taco salad. Leonard’s wooziness dissipated.

At dinner, the main excitement was when it took forever for the wait staff to let our heroes know that there was no chowder.

drinks!
After dinner, they went for drinks at the hotel bar. As they waited for their order, the girls said that they were looking forward to a good <some kind of drink>. They also discussed that they’d had <some kind of drink> at <local restaurant> and it tasted like lighter fluid.
After their drinks arrived, they assessed that the drinks were not as bad as the <some kind of drink> at <local restaurant> but were still ducking awful. They complained quite bitterly to each other about the drinks as they continued to drink them.
When the bartender came by to ask how the drinks were, the girls told the bartender that the drinks were fine.

Hilton Head – day 1

Drove to Hilton Head. Lunch at the Flatbread Grill.

Our heroes noticed that there were 4 rental bicycles parked on the lawn in front of the house. They were told that the bikes didn’t belong to the house and that someone would soon pick them up.

Darren and Samantha arrive.

Shrimp for dinner.

Betty and Rachel played ticktacktoe with ceramic starfish and sand dollars. Alcohol was involved. Hilarity ensued. The winning strategy involved placing a piece outside of the 3X3 grid. Observers of the game declined to comment.

Hilton Head – day 2

Everyone walked along the beach to town, explored some shops. A few of them did more walking, running, or shopping.

There were still 4 bikes in front of the house.

Steaks for dinner.

Hilton Head – day 3

Guys went golfing. Girls stayed by the pool and walked along the beach.

There were still 4 bikes in front of the house.

Darren and Samantha complain that the couple in the room above them were “like jackrabbits.” No one fessed up to being the couple above them.

Hilton Head – day 4

2 of the bikes disappeared overnight leaving only 2 bikes.

Boating
The boats were called skiffs but what Leonard saw were two floating boards hammered together with seats and a motorboat engine on top. For steering, pushing a lever forward made the boat go to the right, pulling it back made the boat go to the left. Pushing another lever forward made the boat go faster, pulling it back would make it go backwards. It was a bit like patting your head and rubbing your belly.
An added benefit was that the right-left lever never seemed to do the same thing twice. That is, sometimes setting the lever straight up meant that the boat would go straight ahead. Sometimes it meant that it would go a little bit to the left. Still other times it would go to the right. You get the idea.
Basically, the steering was either too far left or too far right and the throttle was too fast or too slow.
After 15-20 minutes Leonard did get the hang of things and was able to keep up.

Hilton Head – day 5

There were still 2 bikes in front of the house.

‘Paddle boarding – part 1″ or “Not paddle boarding”
Penny and Leonard went paddle boarding. The paddle boarding place was only 2.7 miles away so they decided to walk there and back. Unfortunately, the phone’s gps wasn’t cooperating. They had to backtrack a couple of times. After a couple of miles, Penny called the paddle boarding place to let them know that they’d be a few minutes late. The paddle boarding place called back a few minutes later to say that they would actually be about 23 and a half hours early. They then turned around and walked back to the airbnb with a detour through the Flatbread Grill for lunch.

Hilton Head – day 6

Darren and Samantha left to visit grandkids.

“Paddle boarding – part 2” or “Actually paddle boarding”
Penny and Leonard went paddle boarding. This time, they called the paddle boarding place, got diections, and drove there. When they got there, they were told that there was yet another place that they had to go. It was only another 20 minutes by freeway. (by FREEWAY!!)
But, they eventually did get there and paddle boarded about on some very quiet but murky waters. Even Leonard managed to not fall in.
Since Leonard wasn’t falling in, and even if he had, it was salt water, he got pretty dehydrated. It wasn’t a big deal but as he got off the paddle board, he collapsed a little bit and the guide got some water to get Leonard feeling okay again.

Hilton Head – day 7

Another bike disappeared leaving one.

Hilton Head – day 8

There was still one last lonely bike in front of that house.