We were eating dinner with a bunch of friends. Dinner was a pile of grilled steaks that our hosts had prepared.

I usually avoid steaks because I seem to be a magnet for unchewable meat. Usually, I’m the one who gets a mouthful of meat that won’t break down with machine guns or hand grenades. I’m told that it’s called gristle.

At this dinner party of 14 people, I find that almost the entire piece of steak in my mouth is gristle. As I tried to chew it down, it seemed to get bigger – about an inch around. Now the question is how to get rid of this monstrosity.

I’m not swallowing it.

Fortunately, we had paper napkins so I wrapped the lump of stuff into that and kept it beside me on the chair while I finished my plate.

I was extra careful with the rest of the steak.

When I finished, I stealthily placed the napkin with its disgusting secret contents on the plate.

Disaster averted.

At least, disaster was averted until Kara picked up my plate to consolidate the mess and the disgusting lump of stuff bounced out of my napkin and across my plate.

I froze and started dying inside.

Kara eventually put me out of my misery by putting another napkin on top of the disgusting lump of stuff.